Hi,
It's been awhile since I have posted anything. I have had many bad days. Seems like the bad days are all I have now. My symptoms are getting worse. Chest pain, Shortness of breath, Palpitations, Fatigue, Dizziness are a daily occurrence. Sometimes all day. Now it seems I may be having some A-Fib mixed in their also.
Lately I have been experiencing BP Spikes. My normal BP on Meds is usually close to 120/70. Every once in a while I will get a spike to like 160/82 for about 20-30 mins. When this happens, I get agitated and angry really quick. To the point where I am almost out of control. I also find my self yelling at my children for little things that would normally not bother me. This is all taking a toll on my marriage and I fear my relationship with my children as well.
I feel like I am a burden on my wife and my children. My wife is a strong woman but I see her becoming more and more distant with me. Bad thoughts are creeping into my mind. I love my family and would never do anything to hurt them. But sometimes I think "Would they be better off with out me?" I never thought I would even think about Suicide, but after dealing with this disease for so long, bad thoughts find there way into your head. I could not act on them due to I know it would hurt them too much and they need me. I guess I am just having some bad days.
I am scheduled for a Septal Myectomy at the Cleveland Clinic near Thanksgiving. Really hoping the surgery will go well and give me some relief. Might be a light at the end of this tunnel... we shall see. I will post photos, videos, and blog on my experiences thru it all.
Hoping all of this might help someone going thru this damn disease in the future!
Walt
thank you for sharing your experience! I wish you truly to have a succesful surgery and an easier everyday life after that. Hope you get relief.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're back. It's strange. Seems I'm your "sibling" on the other side of Atlantic sea. We shares same illness. Seems to be in same stange. I can relate to what you writes about symtoms and mood. Some days are really hard. I'm too waiting to get a septal myectomy before X-mas. Actually, my doctor is educated at Cleveland. It will be so interesting to follow your journey. I like you're sharing. Stay strong and best wishes from Sweden!
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